The Moatman Interviews -S1- No.4 @Kaitlyn_Parr1

This week Boff has got himself dressed up in his best togs and looks akin to something you'd expect to find in a car insurance advert. As the camera pans in, Boff puts down his toby jug filled with a nice port and lemonade, "Hail! fellows! and welcome again to that corner of Wimbledon where the Wombles run free and the pensioners dress up fancy", "well I have at least". This week's showbiz twitter interviewee is a reality TV star and youtube hit sensation, just as her youtube channel says 'she's a star to be', yes this week is non-other than celeb TV babe Kaithlyn Parr. Before she arrives no one is quite sure what to expect and then with a whoosh this twirling whirlwind of hair and perfume is upon us. The first thing she asks is where 'make-up and wardrobe' are, which embarrassingly we have to admit we don't have. Fortunately Kaitlyn has brought a big bag of things with her and disappears into Orinoco's bedroom. After 3 hours she emerges looking just as glamorous as  when she went in. In fact she looks exactly the same as when she went in, it's not until I notice the first womble, and then the second that the penny drops. Kaitlyn explains that she likes to make the things around her beautiful to help channel her own inner beauty. She's even persuaded Bungo to put on blusher because men on telly wear make-up?!?

Once she's told me all of her most exciting gossip, we get her settled down and miked up so the interview can begin. It's clear that Kaitlyn is a whirling tornado of energy and noise, often breaking into song and telling me how excited and awesome the latest thing she's seen is. Thank you for joining us Kaitlyn and taking time out from your busy showbiz schedule, I'd like to begin by asking you what it's like to be part of the celebrity whirlwind, do you find the press intrusion difficult to balance?
To be honest, the press intrusion does get a bit much at times and it's almost impossible to go about my daily activity without someone attempting to harass me. Just the other day, I was in Morrison's when this fan comes up to me and says "hi, can I help you with anything?" I was like "can I not just get my pasties in peace?!". I gave him an autograph and he looked a bit confused-probably because he was overwhelmed by my presence.

Kaitlyn confides that she shops in Morrisons because she likes to stay grounded and close to her fan base, she also notes that the food is really healthy and that she's available to sing any songs for any future adverts, Indeed, and of cause staying in shape is important you look fantastic, do you have any top tips for staying in shape and maintaining a healthy diet?
Well I was on the poppy seed diet for a while where you have 2 poppy seeds three times a day and nothing else for a week. I don't recommend it, you probably will die. Other than that, if you want to be as light on the scales as me, get rid of any unnecessary excess weight. Eg- wear as little clothes as you can and get rid of anything extra you don't need such as your body hair-it'll only add unwanted pounds.

*Boff strokes his beard and looks a little worried before Kaitlyn reassures him that he looks okay.... for his age*  ...I see, and of cause you recently did an expose for 'Oi! Get over here Now! ya Mug!'  Magazine, in which you revealed your own personal struggles and hardships and why the X-Factor audition was the thing that helped save you. Was that a defining moment in your own career progression?
I've never heard of that magazine so they're probably writing lies about me. Typical, I'm used to it. Being shown on tele queuing up for X-factor in the opening bit of the show where everyone waves to the camera was definitely a turning point for me (Kaitlyn can be seen in the opening credits of the 2012 London auditions - the year James Arthur won). I think it was that moment when people thought "yeah, this girl's got talent. A lot of people commented on my wave. I've got a really good wave.

*kaitlyn shows off her wave to camera*  .....and of cause it's well known now about your brush with the Cowells which resulted in a phantom pregnancy (it turned out to be a pillow), What was it like being in the centre of that controversy? and did you receive any support from his Simoness?
Erm, it wasn't a pillow. It was a real baby but it was a very quick and easy pregnancy which lasted just over a week. As you can see on my YouTube channel, I went to Simon's house in an attempt to give him a chance to be involved in his child's life but he wanted nothing to do with it. He's offered no support. He was very happy to get me naked and tell me I was the sexiest and most talented girl he'd ever met in his entire life but once he'd knocked me up, he was gone. A selfish man.

Is it also true that you received an indecent offer from a well known BBC presenter to spend one night in Camden? and did you accept the offer?!
Which BBC presenter is this? You'll have to be more specific, I get too many offers to keep track of.

Can you tell us more about your tattoo's? you recently followed Justin Bieber's lead and got a 'Bank' tattoo'd on your arm in homage to street artist Banksy. What's your favourite tattoo and why?
I don't really know anything about my tattoos. I just got them because I thought they looked cool. That Justin Bieber inspired one I got was a mistake. I thought Justin got a tattoo of a Bank but he actually got a tattoo of a Banksy and now I'm stuck with a f*****g permanent stencil of Barclays on my forearm.

.... I see, and my researchers tell me that you're planning to launch a new line of clothing and beach-wear ready for the summer? Can you tell us more about what might be included in the Kaitlyn range?
I'm basically going to buy a ton of bikinis and summer clothes on the cheap from Ebay, stick my face and name all over them and then sell them for double the price. I'm just giving the people what they want.

Kaitlyn is quite the business lady and entrepreneur and takes time to tell me that she's following in the footsteps of other great women like Jordan and Jade Goody, although Kaitlyn feels that her own unique talents are probably more akin to Lisa Scott Lee from pop group Steps! she does however point out that she has a nicer bottom and is obviously a more talented singer. Which brings us to the other aspects of the multi-talented and versatile young lady who is famed for singing voice and cameos in several soap operas, particularly Emmerdale. I decide to broach the subject how she juggles business with her creative ambitions, Kaitlyn you're quite the young business woman but you haven't given up your singing and acting aspirations. Are there any exciting new roles in the line for you?
Of course not, I'll NEVER give up. You're going to be seeing plenty more of my talents. I'm great at everything so watch this space!

....I see, and you're not afraid to turn down the more  weighty roles either, is it true you're due to appear in Casualty as a woman who gets bitten by a shark?
It's the first I've heard but yes, I'd be willing to take on that role if it's on offer.

...That must be very exciting, coming back to music now, what do you think about the comparisons with Mariah Carey? some have even dubbed you the 'UK Mariah', do you think that's fair?
It's a bit of an extreme comparison to be honest. I think if you ask most people, they'll agree that I am quite a bit better than Mariah Carey.

...Well, thank you for joining us and giving us your time. One final question now, do you have a message you'd like to pass on to our readers? perhaps one for the boys?
I just want to say I love all my fans. Keep watching my vids and subscribing to my YouTube channel and if you know any managers or agents out there, give them my details. The world deserves to see Kaitlyn Parr! Xoxo

...and with that Kaitlyn does some quick air kisses before getting up to leave she's due to get a facial and full body tan before doing another interview with Andi Peters on Capital FM, such is the non-stop life style of the jet set. You can learn more about Kaitlyn on twitter and her own star youtube channel: 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZ42xE4cHbZj-6bpLn4Dp3g