I digress, today's guest is a bon viveur playboy, widely read and of high class, yes helping slurp this wine today and hopefully not getting into too much trouble is the Black Rabbit of Inle, or as I like to call him, Tim. *Tim waves to camera and nods his head a little*, thank you for inviting me Boff, although I must correct you I think you meant Merlot pinot before. Really? It says Merlin on the bottle says Boff holding it to the light? Did you buy these off Camden market Boff? Errrr possibly... actually maybe orange juice would be safer, Boff gives Orinoco a nod to bring fresh drinks. I did think mine tasted a little bitty, I do hope I don't get ill from this Boff says Tim.
Oh dear, me too, perhaps we should put the wine on hold for a second and start today's interview properly, while I send the Wombles out for replacements, so then lets start with one of my traditional 'getting to know' you questions, if you were a book, which book would you choose and why?
Well, my favourite novel is Gravity’s Rainbow by Thomas Pynchon: it’s weird, obscure and utterly brilliant. I’m not sure I can aspire to that; but possibly Bleak House or The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman by Thomas Sterne – totally off the scale in hilarious weirdness. I read a lot more poetry than novels, though, so maybe Wordsworth’s The Prelude, because I ramble endlessly about myself…
Hahaha ah I floated as lonely as a cloud, full of other people's data and dodgy pictures of Jennifer Lawrence, ahem, anyway, perhaps staying with literature a moment longer, you're clearly a fan of Watership down, what about that book in particular do you like, other than rabbits?
I do like intelligent children’s books, such as Harry Potter or His Dark Materials, and I love the way Richard Adams creates an entire rabbit-universe in Watership Down, including religion and folk-tales. I was a teacher at one point in my chequered past (not a very good one, I should add – I never got the hang of the discipline business) and it was important to me to recommend and read some of the books the pupils were reading. A lot are actually better than their grown-up counterparts…
There was a very intelligent and patient English teacher at my private school – yes, I’m one of them – without whom I would never have had the inclination or the confidence to get into Cambridge to read English Literature. He evidently saw something in me. I tend to be a bit of a loner, but there have been some valuable friends who counteracted my naturally self-conscious and timid personality. And, of course, girlfriends (I came a bit late to them) who made me believe that I could actually be appealing to someone else. Lastly, of course, there’s the doctors and nurses – I started my hospital “career” aged 13 – who not only saved my life but (and you’re talking to somebody who hasn’t got a scientific bone in his body) made me see the need for good, free healthcare. Don’t get me started on what’s happening to the NHS now…
Mmmm I see, well I'm glad that you did come out of your shell, and coming back to the former point, were there any pivotal moments in your early years that set you off in a particular direction, perhaps a vocation or turning point in your formative education?
If I think about the house I grew up in, it was a veritable library. I was allowed free run of the books (including some which were a bit unsuitable for a young kid…). It gave me a love of books which I’ve never lost. I’ve always written poetry and still want to write something major. Secondly, there was the moment when everyone, including myself, realised I was seriously ill at 13. I’m very interested in astrology these days; the other week I was told that having an unaspected sun and moon in a natal chart would lead to the person feeling alone
(not lonely). I have that in my chart, and I have that feeling; and even though I have a great many good friends, it’s impossible to get them to empathise with my hospital life. So I’ve given up trying to make anyone understand.
oooooh i'm a natural Sagittarius myself hahah true! I also know that you're close to your father as well, so I wanted to ask do you have any good father and son anecdotes you can share with us? are you very similar in character or very different?
I don’t really have any stories. My father and I are extremely different in character: he’s a lovely, generous man, but somehow I feel we’ve never been on the same wavelength. Maybe I’m one of the black sheep that my family turns up now and again. We often meet for lunch, though, and we have a good time. And I’ll be going to his house with my sons for Christmas, and that’s a really fantastic place to have Christmas in…
ahhh now that sounds more like it, and what about modern day Tim then, what about your current loves and interests? what things get you excited?
The first thing I would say is that anybody reading this would think I’m a miserable old bugger. But as you know, Boff, I can quote Monty Python at length; and, while I’m no stand-up comedian, I can produce some witty one-liners. I’m a great wine-drinker (courtesy of my father, who has an unbelievable cellar) and a bit of a gourmand, even with the diets I’m on. At the moment I’m also getting into the occult – astrology, Tarot, that sort of thing. Some of your readers may scoff at this. I say, let them scoff – it works for me. Last but not least, I always have an eye for the ladies…
I was glad to see Adele back, but I think she was right to take her time and produce the best album she could. I’ve always admired her refusal to join in the fame game, though funnily enough it’s made her an even bigger star. As for 25, I haven’t listened to it much yet, but on the whole it’s very good. There are one or two tracks that are overproduced, but there are also some lovely songs. It’s interesting to note that the best songs are about herself and what she’s become
mmmm I'm still undecided myself, I like some of the songs and some as you say feel over produced, but even then few can hold a candle to her. Now coming now perhaps to the topic of health, I know your routine around dialysis, are you a naturally organised person? or have you had to become more organised?
I’m not terribly organised, although there’s a streak of my father in me that means I’m always punctual, book meals in advance for friends, etc. There are two things that have made me more organised. Firstly, my marriage, as my ex-wife was very organised and wouldn’t have put up with me being slovenly (we’re still in touch, by the way, and get on perfectly well). Secondly, my teaching career, as a disorganised teacher is no teacher at all. But I’ve made it very easy to be organised with dialysis: I live ten minutes from the hospital…
Ha! well yes I dare say that helps, and do you have any good strategies for making the routine easier to manage, personally if I'm stuck waiting somewhere any length of time I like a good audio book narrated by Stephen Fry, he enuciates rude words particularly well you know.
These days I just sleep on dialysis! When you’re getting up at 5.30 in the dead of winter, you just want to get straight back into bed. I find it very hard to read in those circumstances. But I do spend a lot of time on Twitter: I joined in the first place because the empty time was sending me slightly crazy. Now I couldn’t do without it.
Mmmm Twitter, is a relevation isnt it, so many marvelous nutters to play with, I wanted to ask what has your own experience been like with Twitter, have you had the chance to meet many other like minded indiviudals, or just to talk nonsense with like me :D
I do talk nonsense with people like you, Boff – amazingly, it keeps me sane! But over the years I’m amazed and comforted at the number of interesting, scatty, lovely people crammed onto Twitter – and there’s always more to find. I met my current girlfriend on Twitter – and that had the ring of something more than fortuitous about it (I do believe in synchronicity and all that). Generally I spend far too much time on Twitter – though, as I don’t work, it’s far better than watching Jeremy Kyle (incidentally, I hate Jeremy Kyle and all his works).
Oh god yes, I cant stand the Jeremy Kyle either, and if you were at a Twitter meet-up, what would you be doing and who would you be talking to?
That’s easy. Drinking too much and talking to the most attractive woman I could find. Wouldn’t we all?
Indeed, you scamp. Finally then, if you were to host a dinner party which five guests would you invite to dinner and why?
Beethoven, because he’s THE great musical genius, and a lover of liberty and universal harmony. Shakespeare, because even now I can’t get over how utterly intelligent, moving and lovely his plays are. Ted Hughes, because I love his poetry with a visceral intensity, and I also think he’d be a fascinating guy. J.K. Rowling, because I love her books and her charming personality. Elizabeth I, because she made herself into a great queen against all the odds. And can I have a sixth, Boff, because we’ve got to have equality? Ada Lovelace, because she was a very clever and far-sighted woman, and I would also like to ask her
about the scurrilous things her father, Lord Byron, got up to…
Brilliant! and on that note my lovelies series 4 of the Moatman interviews is at an end, Tim and I plan to carry on chatting once more of the liquid refreshments arrive. But for the Moatman Interviews is at close.
