The Moatman Interviews -S3- No.8 'School!' Featuring @TomBennett71

From the moment Boff met the Wombles it's never been entirely clear who was the parent and who was the child, or for that matter who was the owner and who was being 'powned'. One thing that was for certain though was that sooner or later parent's evening would come up. Boff remember's when the Wombles were small, they still are to be fair, going to the school in the evening when it was largely empty and a bit creepy, the other parents clustered around after work with coats and bags clutching their child's school work, and then being ushered into an empty classroom sitting on plastic seats designed for bottoms far smaller than his to hear all about the Wombles exploits. To be fair that's a mixed bag because some Wombles are well behaved and try hard and others *cough* Bungo *cough* are rebels hell bent on destruction.

Mind you Boff's own school years weren't without incident. Boff went to a boarding school like many others from his background, where he mostly learned how to smoke hanging out of windows, chat up girls from the neighbouring girls' school, and if caught for either of the former activities, got the cane, well, the slipper. Fortunately modern education has moved on a bit since then.

Boff arrives to meet today's guest Tom Bennett in a wonderfully bright and airy school reception. Tom is very warm and welcoming and ushers Boff through to charming office space before going off to fetch teas and coffees and a sticky bun, ready for today's interview to begin.

Hail fellows! and welcome to another of our twitter interviews! I've gone back to school today to meet today's guest, a renowned teacher and specialist in behaviour management, with several books to his name, and a column with the TES (Times Educational Supplement), today's guest is none other than Tom Bennett. Hello Tom, and thank you for taking the time to see us today, it's a pleasure to meet you. I have lots of questions I would like to ask you, so perhaps we should crack on. I wanted to begin by saying you've made quite an impact on teaching, so as a child did you enjoy school and what are your earliest memories of school?

I loved school. I loved learning. I loved being praised by teachers. God, I'm pathetic. I took huge pleasure in knowing things, and seeing how it all fitted together. I was an odd child. In primary school I started to write my own encyclopaedia, and of course I started with superheroes. I ran into taxonomic problems when I realised that The Flash could be in at least two categories: heroes, and speedsters. Then three: heroes with scientific origins. Then four, then five... I gave up. My head hurt.

*Boff nods his head in agreement* ah yes the taxonomy of the comic-book universe is a nightmare, I mean look at the X-men, anyway, I digress, as a specialism within teaching you've focussed particularly on behaviour management, something vitally important for schools, particularly secondary education, so I wanted to ask as a child did you every fall foul of any of your own teacher's strategies?

Never. I was a bloody angel. I never saw the use in sticking it to the man; my teachers were lovely, they obviously cared for me, and even in secondary I could see that they just wanted to do their job and help us. Why would I caper? The only time I got busted by the Fedz was when my Religious Studies teacher kept the whole class in because he was too daft to work out who was pissing about.

oooh I hate when that happens, I remember this one time in Geography when... actually nevermind, so continuing with the interview, the wombles and I are a strong believer in that teaching is more of a vocation than a job, so I'd like to ask you what inspired you in joining the profession?  

I had an epiphany. I'd been running night clubs in Soho for about eight years and slowly going insane- although like all madnesses, I didn't know it was happening. It sounds corny, but I saw an advert that said 'Use your head, teach' and I realised it was exactly what the universe wanted me to do. There wasn't a blinding light or anything; it was just as obvious as seeing the door in a room. I thought, 'That's the next step.' And I left clubs and cocktails behind me, some say forever. I never regretted it. Teaching saved me, it bloody saved me. It gave me purpose and core and mission again. Without it I'd be utterly lost, sincerely. 

N'awww that's actually kind of sweet, and quite inspirational. Now, Sir Ken Robinson tells a story about a four year old drawing a picture of God, the teacher asks the child what the child is drawing and she replies 'God', so the teacher says 'but no one knows what God looks like' and the little girl replies 'you will in a minute', which makes me giggle, so I wanted to ask can you tell us about an occasion where a pupil has said something that made you laugh out loud in class?

Yes, when one said, "Sir, Ken Robinson knows anything about classrooms.'

Also, when a student came up to me recently and passed me his report card. I asked him what his target for this week was. 'Top banter,' he said. Which was top banter as well as being funny, so I gave him a tick.

Hahaha I do love a quick wit and cheeky mind, ahhh, now we couldn't do an interview with you without coming to the inevitable Paxman question, (Tom appeared on Newsnight last year to discuss teaching) what it was like meeting Paxo last year? and were you nervous to find yourself on Newsnight?

Weirdly, no. I don't get very nervous before I speak because I do it a lot now, and the strange thing about telly is that there's hardly anyone in the studio, so it feels quite intimate. I was there with Melanie Philips who, despite legend, was extremely polite and nice and SHE said she was nervous, which felt very odd. And Paxo was a gent; in the green room he was all anecdotal about the Bishop of Canterbury. I get the impression that if you're Joe Public he's a softie because there's no plunder in it for him; but if you're the candidate for Anytown, bring Captain America's shield.

Indeed! ....and with the general election practically upon us, I wanted to ask If David Cameron decided to make you the Minister for Education tomorrow, what would be the first three changes you would make?

1. Teacher training to include significant amounts of behaviour management; subject knowledge; exposure to research skills

2. Make career progression in school depend not just on your ability to demonstrate writing a department self assessment, but on your ability to run a classroom as a teacher. 

3. Take children out of other classes from an early age until their literacy and numeracy is at a good level. These skills are core to all others, and precede them. What's the point asking a functionally illiterate child to read Hamlet?

Those sound like some very sensible suggestions to me. Perhaps taking a change of tack now, if you weren't a teacher would other profession would you have liked to have joined and why?

Crimefighter; one of those careers where you conceivably could be slotting bad guys at night- lawyer, detective, biochemist etc. Actually I went to uni to study Electronics and Electrical Engineering, so that would have been very cool. I bailed after 2 days though, when I realised it was mostly maths for four years, and not actually just straight into building robots. I was 16, and therefore a bit clueless, albeit forgivably so.

Mmmmm that sounds like a plan, I know a certain mechanically minded Womble who rather likes building things, some days I feel like I'm living with a hirsuit version of the A-Team, anyway, obviously where teaching is a huge part of your life, my viewers would like to know what you do when you manage to get a break away from the classroom? are there any other passions in your life outside of education?

My passion is writing. I do it anyway, and I did it for years even when no one read it let alone paid for it. I used to get home from the clubs and fire up my archaic word processor and just write: books, poetry, plays, anything I wanted. I have bottomless piles of poor writing. But I consider it all worthwhile. 

I'm also an enormous geek for Arthurian legends, and super heroics. Which will surprise no one. 

Sounds reasonable to me, everyone loves a good myth and magic superhero story to vicariously live through as you trundle your way home on the train. I'd also like to ask you where you think education and teaching will be in ten years time? do you see any new subject emerging or changes in the way education is taught?

I dispute the current vogue that education requires some kind of curricular or taxonomic revolution; such claims are purest zealotry and advocacy, with no substantive grounding. The most recent attempts to create new subjects, like Citizenship, have been laboratory car crashes. If anything, we need to revisit traditional ways of teaching, because in our urgency to look groovy and uber futurist, we've lost a great deal of what made education tick in the first place. It's like looking at a tripod and thinking, 'Boy, that could use losing a leg.'

hahaha indeed! Well Tom that just about brings our interview to a close and I must admit as I did my homework at the last minute I forgot to do a last question, so perhaps I could close by asking you what's the best excuse you've heard from a pupil that forgot to do their homework.

Urchin: 'Sir I didn't do my homework.'

Me: 'I didn't set any.'

Urchin: 'That's why I didn't do it.'

Hahahah, brilliant. With that our interview is at a close, I'm going to stay on here to discuss taxonomy of the Marvel comic book universe and how you deal Emma Frost (both a goodie and a baddie) but we'll no doubt catch up with you next week for another installment of the Moatman Interviews, cheery bye.